Call to Masturbation

there is a hadith buried somewhere deep

in the torn abandoned crevices of your dusty Quran.

this hadith calls to you, begs for you, and moans for you

from the sulky corner of your dorm room each fortnight.

“a man who truly loves a woman will choose her for

beauty, luck, charm, wealth, and above all


but it’s 3 am

and your sticky fingers barely spread apart

from the spoiled orgasm of tonight’s late-night porn binge

and last night’s broken fast.

you see it’s 3 am before suhoor

and your breasts are flopping

and your clitoris is throbbing

and there is

nothing dignified

about your heavy brown breaths

and syncopated sighs.

in fact at 3 am there is nothing dignified about manless pleasure

or giving the performance of your life to a row of crumpled pillows

and tossed sheets

who cradle you the way an imam’s voice once did.

at 3 am love exists within self-inflicted fingerprints

all over your lonely mounds of subsaharan sugar cane

raw and unrefined from the absence

of a so called



Fatima Eldigair is a Sudanese American writer, born and raised in Chicago. She is currently pursuing her undergraduate degree in creative writing and comparative race studies at the University of Chicago. Send love (or hate) to Fatima via her Instagram.
This Poem was originally published on 

One thought on “Call to Masturbation

  1. sidraowens says:

    I’m so glad you posted the entire poem. I had to go find it after you posted that snippet. It’s so raw; with lusty, gritty imagery tangled with a strong commentary.


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